Chapter 2.13: Getting accustomed

Screenshot-933It wasn’t easy adjusting to not having Oceana around, and it certainly wasn’t easy adjusting to being a father of triplets. And for most of the time, I was also taking care of my old man, as he seemed to get older and more confused for each day that passed by.

I was usually completely drained once the kids were asleep and dad put to bed in the evenings and I would just curl up to a small, piteous ball on the couch. Was it really fair? Even when colorless sims had the same rights as any ‘bow, my life was a misery. Okay, exagerration, at least I had the kids. But still, I felt lonely and sorry for myself.

Screenshot-937There was lots to be done with three toddlers in the house. Constantly a mouth to fill or a diaper to change and I had not been completely ready for it. I wasn’t prepared for doing it all by myself. I did my best, but some days it seemed like the kids didn’t get as much attention or care as they deserved, despite my tries. It was a wonder mom and dad had managed raising me and my siblings in the district where the standards had been… low.

Screenshot-944 Screenshot-955My friends all came over occasionally to help me with the kids, which I was indescribably happy about as it gave me a chance to get some well-needed rest. They all had different opinions on Oceana leaving me. Some thought it had been for the better and some were furious with Oceana for letting me do all the hard work on my own. I myself didn’t really blame Oceana, I just missed her. She had been my first, and only, love. Maybe the feelings hadn’t been as mutual as I had thought, since she so easily could leave me.

Bluebell took Oceana’s side, as did my brother. They said that since they too were parents they could imagine what it would be like having to worry about your kids safety when there’s an easy fix. According to them they would do the same thing if they had to, and they seemed sure I would have to, if it had been the other way around. Maybe I would, but I would have considered my options because I didn’t like being without Oceana.

Screenshot-954Mithos was the one to come over most frequently, and also the one to help me the most with the kids. In fact, he came over pretty much just to spend time with them. I imagine it was sort of training for him, as he was also about to be a father any day. He was a really caring and supportive uncle to my triplets and I honestly don’t know if I would have managed without his help. To think that he still had time for these little things with me and my kids even with his role as the mayor of town was fantastic. It made me feel… important.

Screenshot-942 Screenshot-941He and Cherry hadn’t even been an official couple for a year when Cherry suddenly ended up pregnant. It was a big surprise to all of us, and maybe most of all for Cherry and Mithos themselves, but they took it for what it was and prepared themselves in the ways they could. I was happy for them, Cherry was a nice girl and someone who could deserve my dear hero friend. I was eager to meet their little one, but I hoped it would wait until my own kids were a bit older. It would simply be more convenient if some of the kids could take care of themselves while we fussed over a new little baby.

Screenshot-960Cherry did pop before the triplets birthday, but fortunately it was only a few days before so there wasn’t really that many days for me to get it to work with the kids all by myself. It was hectic, but I managed. I even managed to squeaze in a visit to the new parents and their lovely little Canary.

Screenshot-965For the triplets birthday I invited Cinnamon and Mithos and my siblings and their families over to celebrate. Quite a big party for a loner like me, but I needed their support now that Oceana had left me. I was scared for my kids growing up and for time passing, because I feared that with time I would forget about Oceana or at least get over her, and I didn’t want to. I suppose I was also scared that she would forget about me. Maybe even forget about her own opinions and go back to agreeing with her family. The simple thought of her feeling disgust of her own kids was enough to make me cry. Those babies were perfect, why couldn’t she see that?!

The triplets aged up beautifully. Perfectly, actually. They probably got that from their mother, the perfect part.

Screenshot-957 Screenshot-959Spindle was already a teenager and his best friend was aunt Sweet Corn. They laughed and teased each other to no end. It was clear that friendship wasn’t limited by any boundaries of age. “Do you have any girlfriend yet, Spindle?” Sweet Corn teased while they were stuffing themselves full with cake.

Spindle stuck his tongue out, “Naha, do you have any boyfriend yet?”

I knew it was a sore toe for Sweets, but she just couldn’t find the right one. Ironically, I had found the right one for me but she had left me. I suppose we were in similar positions. Maybe one day she would find someone, or would it be impossible now that she was used to loneliness? In a way it suited her and it did leave her with enough energy to be the perfect aunt and my kids would certainly need that. A grownup girl in their lives.

Screenshot-958Pixie had a hard time dealing with losing friend after friend. It was understandable, of course, and I really felt for her. At least she was still putting on a brave smile and tagged along whenever we had a gathering. She was as much family as any of the guests of this party. It was comforting being with her too, as she reminded me so much about my own mother. They had been the best of friends, closer than I had ever been to any of my own friends. It had to be about as tough losing such a close friend as it had been for me to lose my mother.

Screenshot-956Cinnamon was, to my great joy, also pregnant. Even if it would be quite a few years between our kids (and Mithos’ little girl) it was a joy to share parenting with close friends. I mean, it was only natural that my priorities had changed after the triplets came in to my life and having my two best friends doing the very same journey by my side was probably the best thing to it. I knew I would love their babies with every part of my heart that was left after loving my own family.

My friends had all brought some gifts for them and we all worked hard to stuff it in to the tiny rooms in our house. I realized I would probably have to re-build the nursery either to another bedroom or some kind of playroom. It wasn’t like we would need a nursery again, anyway.

There was just one problem about re-building and that was that now that mom’s retirement money had stopped coming we weren’t exactly swimming in cash. And for Berry’s sake, I had three kids to provide! I would have to get a job. And so the next problem occurred; What would I do for a living? I wasn’t exactly good at anything.

Screenshot-964“Easy” Sweets said when I asked her and I narrowed my eyebrows, trying to form them in to a question mark. “You’re joining the police force, of course! You’re the best investigator in town, after all.”

As surprising as it may sound, the police force seemed to agree. Or at least they offered me a job. I suspect the investigations regarding Affair’s murder played a part, but the bigger part was probably the fact that they needed to hire more colorless’, ‘for a diversity in staff’.

Screenshot-987When Blizzard, Loquat and Soda Pop went for their first day in school, I went for my first day to work. I’m not sure who was the most nervous, but it was most likely me. At least they had each other to rely on while I was all by myself.

With the kids being older, life got easier for me. It was a relief realizing they could mostly care for themselves as long as I provided the essential food and love. And homework guidance, of course. I even found myself with a bit of spare time, which I hadn’t had since before they were born. Since I could spend it with Oceana, I thought to myself.

Screenshot-970I went to her house a couple of times. I rung the bell and waited for someone to open the door. I just wanted to see her, hear her voice. Tell her that the kids were beautiful. But she did the same thing as she had done to my phonecalls ever since she walked out of my house – she ignored it. The door remained shut no matter how much I wished for it to swing open. She had made her choice, and I was clearly not a part of it.

Screenshot-972 Screenshot-973Only one single time as I went there the door opened but it wasn’t Oceana who stood in the doorway, it was some blue ‘bow who hissed at me, something about Oceana not wanting anything to do with me. When I refused to leave he gave me a lesson. It had been many years since that had last happened, but it seemed the loathe of colorless wouldn’t budge easily.

Screenshot-974Two days later I found a note in the mail, “Remember Sundance, survival is most important! X” It didn’t matter that it wasn’t signed, I knew it was from Oceana anyway and it was just another way for her to tell me to forget about her and move on with my life.

Dad kept getting worse and there was nothing I could do about it. I had known for a long time that he was having trouble getting things straight, but when he mixed Loquat and Blizzard up, I realized just how bad it was. It seemed like not even the kids could slow his ageing and fading down anymore. I needed to prepare myself for losing him. Not that I had the slightest idea about how to do such a thing. I didn’t want to be left alone with the triplets, I couldn’t do it.

Screenshot-953But dad did pass away. He did leave me alone with the triplets. I would never be able to forgive him.

Screenshot-951 Screenshot-950 Screenshot-949We were all devastated.

Screenshot-977“Are both your mom and dad dead now?” Soda Pop asked one day a couple of weeks later and tears welled up my eyes. It hurt to think about them being gone and no matter how much time that passed, I still missed them.

“Yes they are” I replied, trying to remain strong in front of my child.

“What happens when you die?”

“You go to the place you wish to go to” I replied, aware that it was an abstract explanation. Soda Pop seemed pleased, though, and she skipped off, interrupting her brothers in some game. They did leave her out of their games occasionally, saying whatever they were playing wasn’t for girls. That was one of the few times I interfered in their games because it was probably not easy for her to be the only girl. I could only imagine what it would be like once she needed a girl-talk. Who would help her with that? Sweets or Cinnamon, perhaps?

Screenshot-975“Dad?” Soda Pop was standing right before me again, her innocent eyes looking straight at me. “Don’t we have a mom?”

I had known the question would come eventually but it felt like it was too soon. Although, wasn’t every part of your kids progression too soon? I didn’t know what to answer, Oceana had never told me how she wanted the story to be. I took a deep breath to earn myself some time, hoping the right answer would suddenly just appeared. Unfortunately, it didn’t. Even after two deep breaths I didn’t know what I was supposed to tell her. She was starting to look impatient, obviously expecting an answer. I decided to just take the bull by the horns. “Boys! Come here. I need to talk to you all about something.”

Screenshot-979The boys complained over having to interrupt their current game, but came to our side. “Everyone has a mother” I started once they were all close and listening. “You have the best mother of them all. I wish you could meet her. She looks a bit like all of you. Blizzard, you have the same skin as her and Soda, you have the exact same hair color. Loquat, you look mostly like me, but you have so much of her personality. Her name is Oceana and she is very brave.” I took a pause to gather myself, the part of her abandoning them, us, was still tough to me. I wasn’t even sure if I had accepted it myself and now I would have to get my kids to believe in it.

Screenshot-978“Sometimes, when you really love someone, you will have to make tough choices just to protect those you love. Your mother did that. Because her parents and her siblings are bad persons, she had to leave us to keep us safe. Her family hurt both me and her a couple of times before because they didn’t like berries without color. That was a common thing, actually. Oceana wasn’t like that and her family didn’t like that she turned her back on them. We were in love and they couldn’t accept it. When you were born, she left to keep us safe. Your mother loves you all very much, and that is why she isn’t with us anymore. Do you understand?”

I looked at my kids who had been listening close to the story and they all nodded insecure. They understood. It wasn’t until that moment I realized that I too understood. She had really left us to keep us safe. And ever since she did return to her family, I hadn’t been harassed a single time. And my kids were as safe as any kid. “I still love  her” I said, not particulary for the kids to hear but since they were the only ones around they did.

Screenshot-983“There is a boy at our school who says his parents say we are freaks because we are colorless” Loquat said quietly.

Screenshot-981“It’s good mom is protecting us” Blizzard said and Loquat and Soda Pop nodded in agreement.

Screenshot-969Time passed by. Days became weeks and weeks became months. I wasn’t as tired anymore, even though I worked fulltime at the police now. Even though it was hard to accept, dad’s death had been a relief in a way. No more embarrassing mix-ups for his sake, and no more caring for him for my sake. He had finally found peace, and was finally with mom again. I don’t think he had ever managed to leave her side and had probably had one foot on the other side ever since she passed. Maybe he just stuck around long enough to see that I was doing okay with the kids. Would have been typically him, actually.

What I loved the most about my life was the goodnight stories. The triplets were all tucked down in their beds and the only light came from the lamp by Soda’s bed. There was excitement in the air and I remembered how much I had enjoyed reading when I was younger. Sharing that one passion with my kids was a fantastic thing. It usually didn’t take more than a few pages until the kids were all asleep and I could take a round, kissing them all on their foreheads. I didn’t know if it was the actual reading or the kissing part I liked the most, but I loved the nightly routine no matter.

Screenshot-984“I love you daddy” Loquat said during one of those nightly routines and the expression “my heart melted” suddenly became so real. I loved these little ones with all my heart and I would do whatever I had to in order to keep them safe. Oceana, Bluebell and Quince had all been right. Whatever I had to.


Sundance’s Misc. Fun and Generational Goal was Fighter / Social Bunny. I kind of combined them, making him get attacked every time he went out to do something with his friends.

Chapter 2.12: And then there were three

I was so proud of myself since I knew it was now only a matter of time until Tiber’s punishment was raised with a couple of years and Heliotrope would join his cousin in jail. The investigation me and Cinnamon had done would lead to exactly that, the police had promised us. Since we had a recording of Heliotrope admitting the murder of Affair, it would be impossible for any lawyer to get him to walk free. Justice, at last. I was eager to tell Oceana the great news and I hurried home, hoping she would be there.

Screenshot-806I found her in the bathroom, door unlocked. She looked sad, almost depressed. “Is everything alright?” I wondered, wanting to make sure nothing had happened in my abscense. The good news could wait another moment.

“No, it’s not alright” she replied and turned to look at me. A pearl of sweat was rolling down her forehead.

Screenshot-837“Anything particular?” I asked, thinking it could possibly be the same worry she had been plagued with for the last months. She shook her head, a sign she didn’t want to talk about it. I put my hand on her upperarm and smiled, “Okay, but listen, I have great news!”

A slight smile formed on her face, “What’s that?”

“We finally found a way to tie Tiber and Heliotrope to the murder of Affair. It’s waterproof, they’ll both be convicted for it!” I could barely contain my excitement, but the reaction from Oceana was far from what I had expected:

Screenshot-805*Blllerrrrgh*

I looked away to not embarrass her and once she stood up again she looked at me, “You did what?”

I wasn’t sure if she was happy, angry or just modest, but I tried to transfer some of my own excitement through encouraging words, “It’s true! Your safe! They’ll both get long punishments and you’ll be free. They won’t be able to hurt you!”

I told her the complete story of what had happened this very day and once I was done she turned her back on me and covered her face in her hands, it almost looked like she was crying, but she couldn’t be, right? “I can’t believe you did such a thing” she eventually said and it hurt. After everything I did for her, she thanked me like that?

“Don’t you get it Sunny? It doesn’t matter if they’re in prison or not. There’s always someone else to do their work. If we fight them, it’ll only get worse. Don’t you understand? They’re powerful. Mighty powerful.”

Screenshot-838“B-but they’ll be behind bars” I stammered. If this wasn’t enough for her to feel safe, I had no idea what was. What else could I do?

“And that’ll make them hate you, us, even more. I can’t believe you did this…” she was definitely crying now and I felt my own anger rising. Way to be thankful! I didn’t know what to say, so I left her in the bathroom. Tears was welling up in my own eyes, why couldn’t she just be thankful? Didn’t she know I had risked my life for her?

Screenshot-833I hid in the nursery, not knowing whether I should be angry or sad, or keep being happy for the success in the Affair-case. It was confusing, that was what it was.

Screenshot-836After some time, mom came in and sat down on the toy box in front of me, “Don’t be so hard on her” she said and looked at me. “Or on yourself. You did what you thought was right, and I’m glad Affair finally could have some justice. But Oceana, she… She has reasons to worry. You should talk to her instead of hiding.”

I watched my mother leave the room again. Always so wise. I couldn’t imagine that there would eventually be a day when she was no longer around. She was my guiding star and had always been.

Screenshot-722“Sunny!” Oceana looked happier when I got out in the livingroom again and I wondered if maybe mom had talked to her as well. I walked up in front of her, waiting for her to explain herself. She surprised me again, “I’m pregnant.” The first syllables were said in a happy tone but the last ones were more like a deep sigh. I think her actual uttering explained exactly how she felt about the entire situation.

“Pregnant?” I asked, even though I was certain I had heard the last time. Oceana nodded.

She. Was. Pregnant.

“I’m becoming a father?” The question was silly because I obviously were, but it was still hard to wrap my brain around it.

Screenshot-721No one bothered to answer my question and mom came swooping Oceana under her wings, turning her back against me. It was obvious that they wanted to bond like women, and that I had no place in their little conversation. “Look, here’s Sundance as a little baby. Look at those chubby cheeks!” Mom pulled out the baby pictures and within an instant she and Oceana was wrapped up in a conversation about babies, diapers and well… me. I felt extremely left out and went to do what I always did when I needed to think, I cooked.

Screenshot-719Screenshot-720I heard them babble on behind my back and I tried to not feel too left out. Ater all, there were things in a pregnancy that I couldn’t know a squat about. And to be honest, it seemed to brighten Oceana’s mood up, and that was probably for the better.

They were truly bonding, and I was happy for that. Mom had been wishing for more grandchildren ever since Spindle was born and I knew it was like a dream coming true for her knowing that Oceana was pregnant.

Screenshot-817Oceana herself had more mixed thoughts about the whole thing, I could tell. She put on a happy face in front of my mother, but I knew since before that she was scared of having kids. Not because she would become a mother, but because she was constantly worried that someone should harm her or me, and having to worry for a kid on top of that would simply be too much.

“It’ll be fine” I promised and smiled. I myself was happy as a clam. I would have a baby. A baby.

Screenshot-816“It’s not fine!” Oceana snorted. Stop saying it’s fine when it isn’t!”

Moodswings. I had read about them but it didn’t mean they were easy to tackle. “I think it will be fine” I said again.

“In that case you’re stupid” Oceana muttered and turned her eyes towards the TV, avoiding my face.

Screenshot-814“Well, you certainly seem happy around my mother. Maybe you two should raise the kids then!” I suddenly snapped. I don’t know where it came from, but I had finally had it!

Oceana softened up and looked at me, “Because she doesn’t know me like you do. It’s her dream, Sunny! But you know I can’t do it. I can be myself with you. No pretending, just plain old me.”

Oh, wasn’t she one with the words in her mouth.

Screenshot-819

Screenshot-840It was a grey and cold evening when the new election was taking place. The raindrops bounced off the asphalt like bouncy balls and only the bravest berry would ever dare to leave the comfort of their house. Now, the supporters of Spectrum were obviously among those brave ones since we all defied the weather and gathered at The Blank Slate to hold our election night watch party. We had never been as close to a victory as we were this particular night. There was a hopeful atmosphere vibrating at the place.

Screenshot-839My friends were all walking around with happy, yet anxious, smiles on their faces. Oceana was huge, looking as if she was about to pop any day now. Mithos was the happiest of us all, the proud smile was pretty much glued to his face as he mingled around, making sure everyone was having a nice time.

“You ready to rule the town then?” I asked Mithos when he came up to me.

“Don’t jinx it!” He replied in a serious tone, although his eyes were still smiling. I had a good feeling about this election.

Screenshot-842We all knew the first hour of counted votes wouldn’t make or break anything so to ease our nerves we danced. It made time fly, and we sure needed that. We were all so anxious about the results. If we didn’t win this time, we would never win. The circumstances couldn’t possibly be any better than they were at this very moment.

Screenshot-841Dad was trying to do some maths in his head. Somehow he was sure that he could calculate the final scores if he just thought hard enough. It was a hard thing to accept, but he was getting older and older and with that, more and more confused. Poor thing.

Screenshot-844When the votes were closing in to be all counted, we had a 4 percent lead on Mayor Bloom’s replacement assistance. It was a good lead, but nothing was secured yet. Quince decided to lower the music and raise the volume of the big screen hanging in the middle of the room. Everybody in the pub when silent and held their thumbs so hard that their knuckles turned white.

It was nerv-wrecking, really.

Our lead grew to 6 percent.

Shrunk to 5 again.

And then suddenly took a leap up to 7.

Screenshot-847That was when the pub exploded in a unison HOORAY. We had done it, we had finally conquered over the racism. Spectrum would from this day on, rule the town for a couple of years. The music pumped on and everyone started hugging each other and sharing high-fives. It was the most fantastic experience I had ever had.

Screenshot-850Mithos, was of course, the happiest of us all. Mayor Spring.

The party continued for several hours and it was  f a n t a s t i c.

Screenshot-821When the party finally ended over at The Blank Slate we were extremely excited about the sudden success that sleep would be impossible. Me and Oceana sat down outside our house, just staring up at the stars in the sky. I loved being close to her. Loved the possibilities that had opened up before us this very evening. Things would never be the same again, I knew that for sure.

Yet, Oceana managed to surprise me, by ruling out just how much things would change.

Screenshot-823“Sunny” her voice was weak and shaky, which I thought was weird a night like this. “My family won’t like these turnouts…”

“They don’t have much choice now. With Mithos as mayor their money won’t be able to buy them advantages anymore” I promised.

Oceana sighed, “You just don’t get it, do you?”

I didn’t say anything because I didn’t feel like fighting with her this night. She was the one who didn’t get it! She was safe, I had made sure of that. It was getting tiresome listening to her worries day and night.

Screenshot-824“They won’t ever leave me. Or you” she continued. “I know them Sunny. They won’t care if they’re punished for it, if they get a chance to avenge my betrayal they will take it. They’re so many, even if Tiber and Heliotrope are locked up there will always be someone else to go after me, or you. Or the baby.”

“But I’ll protect you!” I protested.

“Can’t you just listen, please?” Tears rolled down her cheeks. “You could try, but it’s no guarantee for our safety, or the baby’s safety. There’s only one thing that can keep you and the baby safe, and I’ve decided to do it.”

“And what’s that?”

“I’ll go back to them.”

“GO BACK?!” I stood up, and felt furios. Out of everything she could have thought of, this was her idea? “You’re leaving me?”

She cried even more, it was getting hysterical. “I do it for you Sunny. Once the baby is here I’ll leave it with you and I’ll crawl back to them. If they think I’ve reconsidered, they’ll leave you alone. And you can raise the baby. It’s the only way. If anything happened to this little one I could never forgive myself. I love you, Sundance. I love you.”

Screenshot-851I couldn’t just simply accept the fact that Oceana would disappear out of my life, even if her reason was to protect me and the baby. It didn’t make any sense. There had to be some other way? I complained over at Quince’s place, hoping that he would have any advice on what I could do.

“She says it’s the only way. That the baby will be safe if she just goes back there. But there has to be another way, right?”

Screenshot-852“She’s going back?!” Quince seemed as upset as I had been over Oceana’s idea. No wonder, I suppose… Her plan was actually to go back to the family who had haunted us for years, who had killed Affair.

“I don’t know what to do” I admitted, feeling more and more depressed over the thought. Here I stood, thinking I had known Oceana, that she had been different, and yet she was willing to go back to her old, horrible family, just like that. “I can’t lose her. I can’t raise a baby on my own!”

Screenshot-853Quince scratched the back of his head in thoughts and mumbled a bit for himself. “Well, maybe…”

“Maybe what?”

“Maybe it’s not a bad plan… I mean, those berryholes went after her even with our protection. You can’t imagine what it’s like to have a kid Sunny. Not until you actually have one. You’ll do anything to keep it safe.”

“Even abandon it?”

“If that’s what it takes. If I had to abandon Spindle to make sure he was safe, I’d do it. It wouldn’t be easy, but I’d do it.”

It felt as if Quince was letting me down. It made me angry thinking that everyone backed her decision up. Cinnamon had been upset over it at first, but she also agreed it would keep the baby safe in the end and that it therefore would be worth it. I hoped sincerely that she would change her mind once the baby was here.

Screenshot-834It became a long and almost unbearable fall. The simple thought of Oceana leaving me was depressing. I really tried to talk her out of it, but it seemed impossible. On top of the problem with Oceana, dad seemed to get worse and worse for each day. He would go out in the garden to rake leaves for hours. It was almost as if he forgot about everything around him. All he could care of was that rake and the thought of getting the leaves gathered in a neat pile.

A simple little puff of air had the leaves whirl around, causing a mess on our lawn again, which had him start all over. I think he missed most of the pregnancy all together and I wasn’t even sure if he was aware of the fact that he would be a grandfather again around winter.

I was excited to meet the baby, but the constant worry of Oceana actually keeping her promise and leaving us gave me mixed feelings. I wanted the little one to be born, but I didn’t want to lose Oceana. Time became a funny thing, it seemed to move both too fast and too slow.

Screenshot-796 Screenshot-795Mom had been looking forward to the birth since she first found out and it was nice to see her care for Oceana, giving tips on how to raise kids or how to ease the pregnancy aches. I had been looking forward to see her with my kid and that made it even more sad when she passed away with winter around the corner. She practically stumbled at the finish line and she would never get to feel the smell of a newborn baby.

It was almost impossible to accept the fact that she wouldn’t be around.

Screenshot-848Just a few weeks after mom’s death, it was time. Pixie came around to handle the delivery and Oceana surprised us by giving birth to not one, not two, but three healthy little babies. Triplets! Mom would have been thrilled!

I was happy to see the perfect little ones, but the fear of Oceana possible leave clouded the happiness. For the first few weeks I thought she had changed her mind, but once the kids were old enough to be fed through the bottle she packed her bags and waved us goodbye. “I love you Sundance, and I love our kids. Please remember to tell them that. I leave because I love them, nothing else, okay?”

I cried for a full day after that. In just a few weeks I had lost two of the most important girls in my life. Would I ever be able to survive that?

Dad snapped out of his confusion whenever he was with the babies, which was lucky because I couldn’t have managed on my own. But he was there, like a father should and helped me get through the initial sorrow.

Screenshot-857And as time passed, I learned to be happy for what I had. Soda Pop, Loquat and Blizzard were the cutest, most adorable and fantastic babies I had ever seen. Even though it was hard to get by without Oceana’s support, they gave me happiness and comfort. It made me feel a bit better, thinking a bit of Oceana lived in these kids.

Chapter 2.11: Home

Screenshot-793“Look at it!” Mom was shining with joy as she pointed at a small white house with a broken fence surrounding it. “Home, it’s our home!”

It was weird entering a place that should be filled with emotions and memories, but which was blank to me. I had no memories from this place, neither did it feel like home. For as long as I could remember my home had been in the district. I tried my best to act as happy as I was supposed to and entered the house. It was dusty and it smelled trapped but I had to admit it still looked nicer than the shack in the district. It surprised me that there was still an old computer and an old TV after all these years.

Mom and dad was swirling around in a hug, laughter escaping their mouths. This had to be about the happiest day of their life and in the confusion I felt, that was something I could be genuinely happy about. ‘I’ll get used to it’ I thought and did a tour in the small house, in my new home.

Screenshot-704I took a walkabout in the house, trying to find something I remembered, something that could remind me of a life outside the district. I found nothing. I sat down in a rocking chair in one of the nurseries. It had to be Quince’s because there was only one crib while there were two in the other. So, this was it. My new home. My new life.

It had been a good start, I had to admit that much. Oceana had been released from the hospital after two days of observation when the doctors were sure her breathing was stabilized and functioning as normal. Quince and Sweets had been released from custody the day after the rebellion, along with the rest of our friends, with no punishments. We all suspected they would be held under close observation by the police for a while, though. Mayor Bloom had been forced to step down from his post as Mayor, and were simply Mr. Bloom by now. His assistant had taken the vacant spot, while a new election was being planned. I had never heard of an election during a term, but with the ruling circumstances there really was no other choice. Yes, things were looking brighter than ever and now I had a real home.

Screenshot-798Mom decided we would throw a homecoming party. We all agreed that it was a good idea since we had finally managed to succeed in our political plan. We were no longer secluded because of our color. It was a giant step in the right direction. It would also be the first party in many, many years that we could host in a real home instead of at the pub. That alone was worth celebrating.

To my big surprise, the stereo still worked after all the years it had not been used. I shifted through mom and dad’s old record collection and came up with a mix of Indie, Rock, Jazz and RnB that would suit pretty much everyone. I can’t say I was a master when it came to music, but I was quite sure I was better than mom and dad.

While I prepared the music, mom was swirling around in front of a mirror, trying some of her old clothes on. She had been doing that regularly the last few days. I was a bit jealous because I couldn’t feel the same homecoming feeling as her and dad. I wanted to be happy in the same way as they were. It wasn’t like I could try my old clothes on to remember past days either, since they were all baby clothes. Oh well…

Screenshot-799Pretty much all of our friends came for the party and it was a good night. Quince mixed a few drinks and placed them on the dining table so that everyone could just help themselves. “I want to raise a toast” Cinnamon suddenly exclaimed and threw her arm around Oceana’s body in a friendly gesture. Someone lowered the volume of the stereo while Cinnamon got to speak, “This girl, my friends, is the bravest girl I know. I want to raise a toast for her, for putting her berryhole brother in prison – where he belongs! To Oceana!”

The party cheered and emptied their glasses for Oceana’s sake. I did the same, even though I could see it was hard for Oceana. She hated her brother alright, but reporting him and getting him arrested had put another nail in the coffin between her and her family. I knew it was hard, because even if she despised them, they were her family and now they hated her. The world might have become a better place for colorless berries, but because of the latest happenings it was a lot more dangerous to Oceana. Still, she smiled as Cinnamon talked and when the rest of us drank what we had in our glasses, she did so too.

Screenshot-800Screenshot-803Later that evening it was Flax’s turn to raise a toast. He cleared his throat and started speaking once everyone was quiet. He had quite the power in our little circuit because he was the leader of our party and all. “I’m proud of you all for getting us here” he said.

Mithos, who stood next to him, rocked back and forth on his heels. After a short rhetorical pause, Flax continued, “I’m not as young as I used to be. I know you can see it, but I can certainly feel it. Berry, my joints are stiff as a lollipop in the mornings and I do all kind of morging gymnastics to even get out of bed. Because of this, it’s time for me to hand the leadership over. It hasn’t been an easy choice, but the guy who will be taking over is a fantastic young boy with just the right amount of fighting spirit. We deliberated together, and have decided to re-name the party as well. Whites stood for the justice of colorless, but with how far we have come now, we want to focus on equality for every ‘bow regardless of color instead. Hence, the new name of the party is Spectrum. And now my friends, please all all raise your glasses in a toast for Mithos Spring, the perfect new leader for our politics!”

Screenshot-802It came as a surprise to most of us, but Mithos just smiled proudly and emptied his glass. Not that he wasn’t a perfect leader because I sure couldn’t imagine anyone better suited, but because it was hard to accept that Flax (and hence my parents) were getting to the point where they needed to hand responsibilities over. Shouldn’t they be around forever?

No wonder, it was an epic party that night. There was just so much to celebrate. We kept going the whole night.


Screenshot-705 Screenshot-706Having a real home had it’s advantages, I realized quickly. Not only did it mean a higher portion of safety and feeling of belonging but it also meant I could invite friends over. And the friend I most enjoyed being with, was Oceana. I think she needed me as much as I needed her. And we had great fun! It almost felt as though we were normal ‘bows now, living free in the world, having friends.

Although, Oceana was still scared. Putting her brother in prison had most likely been that final straw that broke the camel’s back. She just knew her family was after her now. She had betrayed them and in their eyes, she was the one belonging in jail, not Tiber.

“He only got nine months” she told me and the fear and worry made her eyes wander back and forth, as if she was keeping a lookout. Not that she wasn’t safe in our home, but I guess she must have felt constantly scared now. “What will happen after those months, Sunny?” I promised her it would be fine, but deep down inside I wasn’t so sure.

Screenshot-707Although, there were moments when the fear lifted its grip around her and she could be goofy, happy and playsome. It didn’t matter which Oceana she showed, I loved her anyway. I have to admit though, it was easier hanging out with the happy Oceana than the constantly scared one.

Screenshot-708Since she was scared of being at her own house, and alone, she spent a great deal of time at our place. It was almost as if she was a part of our family, although we were still no official couple, so calling her family would be a bit over the top. But it was nice, eating dinner together and talking about unessential things.

Screenshot-712“So, are you two ever going to bring us any grandchildren?”

Screenshot-711I pretty much choked on my hot dog. Sometimes I hated my mother, but that was just her way. She didn’t do cotton candy wrapped words.

Screenshot-710“I think that would be rather unfair” Oceana replied, without looking the slightest offended. “To them, I mean. With my family, those poor kids would be pretty much haunted. I couldn’t do that.”

It was as if a rock collapsed on my shoulders. Sure, I knew she was scared her family would come after her and I had never really considered having a family with her, but getting it put so straight wasn’t fair. I mean, there was still the possibility, right? I knew from that moment that if Oceana were to ever have a proper future, where she wouldn’t have to be constantly afraid, I would have to do something. I would create a world where she could be safe.

Screenshot-807The only thing that came to my mind, was trying to talk some sense in to her family. I knew it wouldn’t be easy but if there was even the slightest chance that Oceana would feel safer afterwards, it was worth a try. So, I gathered enough courage to visit the Sourz residence again. It was the first time I went there since we egged the place, and it brought back a few memories. This time I came with good intentions though.

Screenshot-825I pressed the door bell and it wasn’t until then I realized what a stupid idea this was, if I got hurt it certainly wouldn’t get any better for Oceana. Although, it was too late to back out now. Heliotrope opened the door and the disgust that flooded to his eyes when he saw me was impossible to miss. He snarled, “You!”

“I just wanted to ask you to leave Oceana alone, she’s had it hard enough” I stuttered. I really tried to be polite and friendly but with a man in front of you with such a clear hate for you, it’s hard to not tremble a bit.

“Scram, vanilla freak!” He slammed the door shut. Well, that didn’t go as planned but at least I didn’t get hurt in the process.

Screenshot-827With no other idea to how I could make the world a better place foe the girl I had fallen in love with, I went back to the Sourz residence the next day. Since I hadn’t been hurt the day before, I had found new courage and this time around, I wasn’t as scared when I pressed the door bell. Once again, Heliotrope opened the door and looked furious by the plain sight of me. “I told you to leave us be” he sputtered.

“And I want you to promise to leave Oceana alone” I answered, just stammering a bit.

Heliotrope stared at me deadly and it almost felt as if his eyes made burn marks on my body. “I just wish Tiber would have killed her, like he killed your purple friend” Heliotrope hissed slowly between gritted teeth and took a step out on the porch, closing the door behind him, In a matter of seconds, he had pushed me backwards so that I was lying defenseless on their porch. He jumped me and started to beat me up, angry words escaping his mouth in the process. “I just wish he would have killed her” he whispered again once he stood up and gave me some room to breathe. “She’s a disgrace to this family.” With those final words, he left me on the porch and walked back in to the house.

Screenshot-832I cleaned myself up at the gym on my way home, not wanting anyone to see that I had been beaten up. Least of all Oceana, who I suspected was at our house as usual.

It seemed like my little washup at the gym had done wonders because not once that evening did Oceana hint anything about a possible fight. In fact, she seemed to be a bit out of her game, which had me wonder if anything had happened to her this specific day. When I asked, she just waved it away though, saying she was just being tired.

We went to bed early that night and Oceana fell asleep fast while I myself tossed from one side to the other, sleep not willing to catch me at all. I presumed it had to do with my worries for Oceana. It couldn’t be easy on the poor thing walking around with constant worry. And what if Heliotrope finally got to her? What if he actually put any action in to the words he had tossed after me today? What if he actually wanted her dead? I couldn’t keep a constant lookout around Oceana and if Heliotrope really wanted to kill her, what would stop him?

I had an uneasy sleep that night. Nightmare after nightmare haunted me, each and everyone including me losing Oceana from my life. When I woke up I had to look at her twice, and actually touch her once, before I was certain that she was in fact still here.

I needed to do something.

Screenshot-828It was Cinnamon, of course it was Cinnamon, who came up with the final idea. It was stupid, but it could possibly work. After much deliberation I had decided to tell her about my worries and about my encounters with Heliotrope. It was too tough carrying it all by myself and the fact that I couldn’t come up with anything to keep Oceana real safe troubled me. Once I had shared it with Cinnamon, it felt a bit better.

She offered to help me, and I was grateful. So it happened that I rang the door bell at the Sourz residence for the third time in a very short time. With Cinnamon by my side it felt a teeny bit safer, and without her there, I probably never would have dared. While waiting for the door to open I gently touched the contents of my pocket, making sure it was all in place. The purple, fury, eyes that stared at me when the door opened gave me the chills but Cinnamon tackled me gently to make me speak. “You have one last chance. Promise to not harm Oceana, to leave her alone.”

Screenshot-826Heliotrope sneered, “I’m pretty sure I’ve already stated my opinion in this matter.”

“You can’t kill her for thinking differently” I stated.

Heliotrope laughed. It was a mean, evil and menacing laugh, “Ha! We can’t? Well, we managed with that purple waster, didn’t we?”

Cinnamon took my hand and squeazed it gently. I knew it meant I had to press on, “She’s your sister, Heliotrope!”

“I don’t give a damn about ‘bows showing any sympathy for freaks! They deserve to die and if I can help cleanse this town from their filthy existense, I’ll gladly do it again. What was his name, Affair?, he deserved to die. And so do you and everyone who cares for you. YOU ARE FREAKS!”

Screenshot-830Cinnamon kicked his chins before he had time to attack us and as he bent down in pain we ran. We ran as fast as we could, as far away as possible and when we finally stopped we looked at each other and smiled wide before embracing each other in a hug. It had succeeded, he had walked straight in to the trap!

Screenshot-831I pulled out the phone from my pocket and pressed Stop, to stop the recording.

I clenched the phone in my hands when we walked towards the police station, knowing that it held the future of my life, and foremost – Oceana’s life. Not even the stupid police force of Fondant Fields could resist a recognition. Heliotrope would soon be joining his brother where they both belonged and they wouldn’t get out anytime soon.

Chapter 2.10: It’s over

AN: This chapter contains bloody content which may not be appropriate for young or sensitive readers. Read at your own risk.


Screenshot-703It was a shock, to say the least, getting back to the district that night. The white high walls I had become so accustomed to where torn down and laid in ruins on the ground. And it was silent, too silent. I opened the door to our house only to find it empty. It was the first time I had come home to an empty house, and it scared me. With panic raising in my chest, I got out again and knocked on several of the other doors in the district. No one opened.

Screenshot-718“It’s over” a voice said from the dark and when I turned around I saw old Pomelo standing by one of the garbage disposers. In his hand he held the pipe that was so closely bound to him. I knew that he had been one of the most active in Whites when it started out, but as time passed he pulled back more and more. Mom said he was but a shadow of his former self nowadays. Now he was sitting there all alone in the dsitrict. I realized he was probably the only one here except for myself.

“Over?” I questioned, afraid of what it might mean.

“The district. It’s over. They finally managed. I should have known a Twist would be behind its settling.”

“A Twist?” I instantly knew he was referring to Sweets. Whatever she was behind, had been the reason why she needed me and our parents out of the district this very night. There had been hidden motives after all. I looked around again, it was hard to wrap your mind around what had been going on here this evening. Not until then did I see the blood that was splattered on the ground. “What happened?” I whispered, fearing the worst.

Screenshot-717“War happened” Pomelo simply said and went back to smoking his pipe. Two whiffs passed until he said anything else. “They’ll be down at the police station, if you’re wondering.”

If I was wondering? No, no, my friends had just been in a war and they had intentionally left me out. I wasn’t wondering at all. I shot an angry glance at Pomelo before hurrying off again. The police station? What the fudge had just happened?

Screenshot-683“We have a Sweet Corn and a Quince Twist here, yes. I can’t say anything else in the matter until they’ve been properly questioned by our officers. If you excuse, we’re quite busy tonight, as I’m sure you understand” said the officer who had the misfortune of manning the reception this night and waved his hand, motioning for me to get out of his sight and make room for one of the other ‘bows waiting in line. I sighed and walked up to the visitor’s area, where several berries were already seated. It did indeed seem like a busy night at the station.

Screenshot-684“You really think it’s over?” It took me a moment to realize the question was directed to me and as I turned my eyes an orange berry looked at me. When I didn’t answer she continued, “I can’t believe they released the Sourz just like that! Shouldn’t they be held here under observation as well. I mean, they did fight too! But I guess it’s true like the rumours say, money can buy anything. Even a full police force.”

“Did you say Sourz?” I asked intrigued. I should have been tired of that name by now, but I still had unsolved businesses with them. Should have realized that they were a part of that war Pomelo had spoken about, though.

“Yes” the orange ‘bow nodded eagerly. “I just saw them leave a couple of minutes ago. I bet they’re back home, hiding by now!”

Screenshot-686I excused myself and left the station. I needed peace and calm to be able to gather my thoughts. Adding one part to the other; Empty district, War, Friends in custody, released Sourz, gave me a picture of what had happened in my abscense. ‘Money can buy anything’ that ‘bow had said and I gnashed my teeth by the thought of how much truth that comment held. It had bought them innocense in a murder and in several assaults. I couldn’t let them get away this time.

While trying to come up with an idea my phone started to vibrate in my pocket. A text from Oceana blinked on the screen, “I just saw the news. Are you okay?” I responded with a short, “Yes, just trying to find out how my family is. You?” A short moment later a new message appeared on the screen, “Scared. I think Tiber is outside.” I didn’t need much time to think, I just looked back at the police station, thinking my family would still be in there by the time I got back. For now, Oceana needed me more.

Screenshot-679The steady thump of my footsteps echoed in my ears and I felt a drop of sweat roll down on my forehead. I pushed myself harder than I was used to, but I needed to get to Oceana as fast as possible. I needed to be there now. My vision blurred as the adrenaline rushed to my body, trees swooshed by in a green mess and for every step I laid behind me my heart beat faster. I needed to go faster.

Eventually, the green little house where I had been only hours earlier appeared in sight and I tried to push myself even harder. When I got closer I saw that the front door was open, that couldn’t be a good sign, could it? It was silent around me, the same silence that had laid over the district. The silence after a battle, after a war, I thought to myself while I sneaked closer. It wouldn’t help neither me or Oceana if Tiber noticed me coming before I had thought of a plan. I don’t think I’ve ever sneaked so silently before. I moved like a ninja, carefully avoiding every stick and dry leaf as I moved closer. I didn’t know how much time had passed since I got Oceana’s message, maybe 15 minutes or so? I just knew I had run a longer distance than my body was used to, not that it meant much. I wasn’t exactly a physical powerhouse. I just hoped I hadn’t come too late, after what seemed to have happened at the district, it felt like anything could happen tonight.

I moved closer to the house, crouching so that my figure wouldn’t show in the windows. If Tiber was really in there, I had no idea what to do, but I would have to come up with something if that situation occured. First, I wanted to make sure Oceana was okay. It seemed to be quiet inside her house, too, and only the wind was heard when it played with some fallen leafs. It seemed calm, too calm. I peaked through the open front door but there was nothing to be seen. Her kitchen looked pretty much like it had done when I left a couple of hours ago and so did the livingroom.

Screenshot-681After gathering enough courage I stood up and entered the house. It seemed empty, almost abandoned. “Hello?” I said and blew my cover after deciding that it wouldn’t help to sneak on Tiber anyway, he would easily overpower me even if I surprised him.

“Sundance?” said Oceana with a low raspy voice. It sounded like she had to work hard to just say my name. She was hurt, it was the only thought that passed through my mind. She was hurt. Since she wasn’t in the kitchen or the livingroom, she had to be either in her bedroom or her bathroom. My bet was on the bedroom and I hurried in there. I could never have imagined that I would find her like I did.

Screenshot-688 Blood was covering the carpet underneath her and her beautiful, beautiful face was completely messed up. Her one eye seemed to be incapable of opening up and a small string of blood poured from her mouth. Her delicate little nose was swollen, definitely broken. I sat down next to her, taking her hand in mine, “Who did this to you?”

She breathed heavily, as if the simple task of breathing was overwhelming. “Tiber” she moaned and closed her eyes. It looked painful for her to speak so I didn’t ask any more questions. I wiped some blood off her face with the sleeve of my shirt and vowed stern to make him pay for what he had done to me, my family and my friends. And to his sister.

Screenshot-690“We need to get you to the hospital” I said after a while. “They need to fix you. I can’t.”

“Not– hospital” her eyes opened and closed and her face grimaced of pain as she spoke, yet she managed to whisper one more word, “Sourz.” It was enough, I knew exactly what she meant. She couldn’t go to the hospital because the Sourz family, her family, owned it. They would find her there.

I knew two doctors. One of them were in custody and the other was at the spa. I hated to have to interrupt their well-deserved vacation but figured that this was a situation worth interrupting it for. Dad answered after the fourth signal, his happy voice revealed that they were oblivious to what had happened this evening. “Dad, I need you. Oceana has gotten beaten up quie bad and we… I’ll tell you when you get here. Can you come? Now? She’s having trouble breathing. Hurry, if you can.” I gave him no chance to interfere or say anything and since it wasn’t like me to act in the way I did, he promised to come right away. He realized that I wouldn’t call unless it was serious.

“Make sure she stays awake” he said once he had got her adress. I knew he would be here as soon as he could.

Screenshot-691I turned to Oceana again, held her hand in one of mine and stroke her hair gently with the other. “You’ll be alright” I whispered comforting not knowing whether she or I needed to believe that the most. “You’re going to be okay” I whispered again.

Screenshot-695Dad arrived quicker than I would have thought, with mom following after him. I wasn’t surprised, it wasn’t like she would continue her stay at the spa when I needed their help. Judging by how fast they got here, they must have run too. Dad washed his hands and then took my place next to Oceana. I had never seen him work before but the way he gently examined her while talking comforting to her, letting her know what he was checking and what he could see, I realized he could have been a good doctor, had he been allowed to work. There was a serious layer covering his face but he showed no real worry and from what I could tell he cared for her as though she was family.

Screenshot-693“Her face looks worse because of all the blood, but there’s not much harm done. Nose is broken but that’ll fix itself eventually. It probably hurts a bit, though” Dad explained and continued to check her body. “Sunny, can you get some aspirins and a wet towel, please?”

I moved quickly, determined to do anything I could to help my friend. I found aspirin in the bathroom cabinet and thanked the berry above for the logical placements of medicins. When I came back to the bedroom dad’s eyes had changed. They were suddenly revealing fear and worry.

“Good” he said, despite the feelings I sensed he was having. “Now carefully wipe the blood off. I need to listen to her breathing…”

We worked in silence, the only sound that was heard was the heavy breathing of Oceana. It sounded painfully tough.

“Hmm. Did you get punches to the chest?” Dad asked and looked at Oceana. She nodded. “I think you have a broken rib, and I’m afraid it may have punctured your lung. We need to get you to the hospital.”

Screenshot-692“Is it the same guys that beat you up from time to time, Sunny? Those Sourz?” Mom spit the name out and it practically vibrated with disgust. I nodded while dialing 911, I wouldn’t let Oceana die just because her family could find her at the hospital. I would guard her myself, if I needed.

“That family!” Mom was fuming. “They’re dregs! Nothing good could ever come from that family. Someone should just banish them from the surface of the earth. Promise me Sunny, to never have anything to do with anyone of their blood!”

I snapped, “Oceana is a Sourz, and she’s no scum!” Mom’s mouth opened in shock and she went quiet. “Was a Sourz” I corrected myself.

Screenshot-696I went with Oceana in the ambulance and despite my lack of color, we were treated with respect. They stabilized her breathing as good as they could with what instruments they had and drove with the blue lights on. When we got to the hospital Oceana was placed on a bed and nurses hurried away with her. I followed them until one of them stopped me, saying I couldn’t go with her to x-ray. I sat down in the waiting area, praying that she would be fine.

Screenshot-699“She’ll be fine, son” dad said and sat down next to me. I loved my parents, they usually knew exactly what I needed to hear and when.

“The doctors will fix her. A punctured lung sounds worse than it really is” he promised.

I nodded to show that I understood him, but I was still worried. “Oh, Quince and Sweets are in custody” I suddenly remembered and panic raised in dad’s eyes.

“Custody?”

Screenshot-698I sighed, trying to explain something I didn’t quite understand myself wouldn’t be easy. “It seems like they tore the district walls down tonight. And then the antagonists showed and it evolved in to a battlefield. They’re holding all our friends at the police station for further questioning. But from what I’ve heard, the district might finally be settled.”

“Oceana will be alright, but we have to go now. Me and mom, we need to go to…” Dad never finished the sentence before rushing off, but I understood precisely what he meant anyway. They needed to look after their other two kids. Of course they did. I stayed with Oceana, I had promised to keep her safe here.

Screenshot-700Dad was right, Oceana was fixed but she needed to stay for observation at least over the night. And probably one or two more days. I stayed with her in the room in a visitor’s chair. “Thanks.” It was the first thing she had said to me since we got to the hospital and it was a relief to know that she wasn’t angry that we had taken her here even though she didn’t want to. “I’m going to report it, he can’t get away with this.” That was the second.

“Really?”

Screenshot-702Oceana nodded and I suddenly felt happy. Despite everything that had happened tonight, it seemed like we would finally be able to get some peace. No more District 0. No more Tiber out on the streets. If things turned out as I hoped, it would be a whole new world. It was an exciting thought, very much welcome in the middle of this chaos.

Chapter 2.3: An important fight

Sweet Corn had been going over her encounter with Cinnamon several times during the last few days. It did nothing to ease her mind, though. She wasn’t used to being shot down or ignored within our circuit and it had really been hard on her confidence. And there was I, always by her side because we shared a room and went to school together. So I was the one who had to listen to her complains and try to come up with some kind of supportive words. Berry shall know I did my best, even though I never asked to be a part of any of it.

“Why does she even go there if she doesn’t want to speak to anyone?”

It was about the hundred time I heard that question and I sighed, “I don’t know. Maybe she can’t work on it at home, maybe her parents are with the antagonists. Or something?”

“It still doesn’t make any sense! What if I knew something?!”

“But you don’t, you were passed out many hours before the shooting. I think most of us know that already.”

“But still! I want to help!”

“And if she wanted help, you could have helped her. But she doesn’t. Sweets, we have to accept that. She’ll do her best, I promise.”

“And how can you be so sure?” Sweet Corn pouted and crossed her arms. It didn’t matter that I tried, she just wouldn’t listen. Not as long as my opinion differed from hers.

Whenever we saw Cinnamon at The Blank Slate, Sweets would shoot angry glances at her. That poor orange girl had gotten herself a nemesis by hushing my sister to be silent. I didn’t know which side to choose, should I ever need to.

“You go over to her” Sweet Corn said and turned to me. “You try!”

I didn’t like the idea, I thought that Cinnamon had already made clear that she didn’t want our interference. “Nah, she was quite clear with wanting to do this on her own” I replied. I had no trouble saying no to my sister, I had learnt that I needed to or she would just push me around.

“Actually, it’s not a bad idea” Mithos added and walked over to me to put a hand on my shoulder. “You’re not the type to be in the centre like Sweet Corn, it might work better because you are staying out of the spotlight.”

While I had no trouble saying no to my sister, there was no way I could say no to Mithos. After all, he was my hero and most inspirational person in the world. And after everything he had done for us, I owed him my life. So, I went up to Cinnamon, hoping for the best.

“Hi” I said nervously and glanced over my shoulder to where my friends were sitting. Mithos did a thumps up and Sweet Corn watched me with excitement.

Cinnamon looked at me and in an instant there was a fire lit in her eyes. “What are you doing here? I thought I made it clear to your sister that I don’t want your help.”

“Mm, I guess” I mumbled and looked down. “Just thought I’d say hi, you know?”

“And you did, now tag along. I have work to do.”

“Are you getting anywhere?” I wondered, curiosity catching me.

She sighed and gave me a deadly stare, “Just. Leave.” I needed no more convincing and turned on my heel and stumbled off. That girl looked menacing and maybe Sweet Corn had been right the entire time. Maybe she was strange and evil and stupid. And why did she come here if she wanted to be on her own. It made no sense.

“Woow, that didn’t go very well” Mithos whispered and gave me a comforting look. “Sorry, thought she would warm up to you…”

“That’s fine” I muttered and sat down. From that moment, I swore to never be involved in any of the uprisings again. Sure, I didn’t like the way we were treated, but if we just stayed out of trouble it wasn’t too bad. There was enough of us to make our own sub-society and if troubles like these was what was coming for us if we did anything to stop it, I was happy to just let it be.

The only problem was that none of my friends agreed with me and they all did everything in their power to get equality for colorless. I had never had anything against being on my own, but they seemed to mind. So, they dragged me along on every little mission they went for.

They meant well, I know they did. They didn’t want me to feel left our or lonely and they probably thought I considered myself as nothing more than an adjunct, which they were determined to convince me I was not. In their eyes, it was important that I was also being a part of their plans. It never occurred to me that I could complain, instead I just tagged along and tried to stay in the back of everything we (they) did. It worked out okay.

There were rare times when I managed to stay invicible until they had all left District 0, which meant I could spend the time at home, with my parents instead. It had come clear to me that normal teenagers weren’t supposed to enjoy hanging out with their parents but I guess I wasn’t a normal teenager then. My family was my everything.

It came clear to me that even my own mother thought it was weird that I preferred staying at home with them. “Why didn’t you tag along to The Blank Slate tonight Sunny?”

“Nah, I’d rather be at home. All they ever do is plot uprisings and drink juice and dance. I like being at home, too.”

“But you are a part of the uprisings, aren’t you?”

“I guess… I mean, I’m with them most of the times. But I’m quite happy here too…”

Mom stared at me with her eyes filled with strength and when she spoke, she did it with a slow, powerful and serious voice. “Sundance Twist, don’t you ever think you are happy with this” she waved in front of her with her arms and looked around. “Just because we are white, it doesn’t mean we shall be satisfied with the district. We deserve a lot more. And if you don’t think that’s worth fighting for, then I don’t know what I did wrong in raising you. These uprisings are the most important task we have in life.”

“But what can I do?”

“You could help that girl find Affair’s killers. They should get their rightful punishment for what they did!”

“But she doesn’t want our help. We tried!”

“Then start your own research. You’ll cross paths eventually and then she will realize that it’s better for you to work together. But don’t just sit here and think that this is a decent life because that would make me very disappointed.”

She was right. Of course she was. After everything she and dad had been through, and I still thought this was enough. And the district existed because of me, after all. And Affair died because of me. Therefor, it was my responsibility to find solutions.

Chapter 2.1: Where it all began

You should never start a story with the words ‘It all began when…’. It may be a common way to start a story but it’s never true. Nothing ever starts somewhere. Every event always evolves from previous events and therefore it’s impossible to say that all started anywhere. Yet, every story has to start somewhere so you have to make that choice anyway. Mine starts when Affair dies:

It was one of the normal saturday evenings. I was at The Blank Slate along with Sweet Corn, Mithos and their friends. Quince and Affair were the ones manning the bar that night. As usual, it was a nice atmosphere. People were happy at The Blank Slate and ever since the grand opening on my birthday it had been the perfect place for us colorless and our supporters. It had always worked just as it was intended.

We had a great time until Sweets had one too many juices (Quince thought it was hilarious to serve her drinks despite her young age) and I had to take my responsibility as a brother to get her back home safe. I didn’t mind that much to be honest, she was quite fun to watch and I thought a night at home could be just as entertaining as a night at the pub. So, I didn’t complain, I just brought her home. Without telling mom and dad anything about her state, might I add.

After putting her to sleep, I enjoyed myself with some reading. It was calm and relaxing laying in my bed just getting lost in the book’s world. Sweets snoring functioned as a quite nice sound effect.

I fell asleep before Quince came home so I could never see him (nor hear him) as he sat on the edge of the bed crying.

In fact, I didn’t notice his crying until I woke up the next day by him spinning back and forth in bed, whimpering. It took me a moment to realize the whimpering was in fact crying. When I did realize, I went to wake him up, thinking he must have had a nightmare.

The look in his eyes as he opened them is something I will never forget. They say the eyes are a reflection to a berry’s soul and if that’s so, I’m really worried about my elder brother. “What is it, Quincie?” I wondered, already knowing that something was terribly wrong.

“He’s dead” Quince sobbed and started crying hysterically.

I didn’t even ask who it was or what it was, instead I ran in to my parents bedroom to wake them up. “Quince needs you. NOW!” I yelled and they both jumped out of bed, realizing I would never wake them in such a manner unless it was an emergency. I followed them as they hurried in to our bedroom.

“What’s the matter Quince?” mom asked, fear and worry filling her voice.

“He’s dead” Quince sobbed. “Thee-eey ki-ii-ii-lled hi-iim.”

“Who’s dead and who killed him?” Dad asked, managing to stay calm.

Quince kept sobbing but managed to get out that it was Affair who had been killed. That two antagonists had managed to get to The Blank Slate just an hour before closing time the previous night and that they had shot Affair in the back, with the words, “This is how much colorless are worth!” It obviously triggered panic among all the guests at the pub and Quince himself had just managed to duck behind the bar when the second bullet pierced one of the bottles behind him. The two antagonists then disappeared from the scene.

I never had a personal relation to Affair but my family was hurting after his death. Especially Quince, who had been the one to watch Affair take his final breath and the one to hear his final words. I knew them all too well because Quince kept whispering them uneasy as he spun back and forth in nightmares. “Never give up, Quincie. Keep fighting.”

I didn’t hurt that much. But I did feel something else. A feeling that was well-known to me, it was probably the feeling I knew best. Guilt. District 0 was my fault and District 0 fueled the grudge against colorless and their supporters and that was what killed Affair. Alas, Affair died because of me.

I had learned to live with the guilt from District 0 on my shoulders, but it would be impossible to also carry the guilt of a young man’s death. Yet, that was what expected from me.

Some say that a ‘bow will never have to go through more than he or she actually can and that the stronger ‘bows will have more to carry. I don’t know who or what force does the calculations for that, but I knew there had been a miscalculation when it came to me. I wasn’t strong. I couldn’t carry all of this.

Affair’s death became big news and the fact that it was a political murder raised a question Fondant Fields had been struggling with for decades. Was it really that bad wanting rights for colorless? 

Despite that, the killers were never found. In fact, no one officially seemed to look for them. At least, neither me or my siblings were ever questioned by the police. And out of our friends and supporters, no one else had been either.

The fact was that even when Quince called the police and gave a signalment, nothing happened. It should have been easy to catch them since the murder happened in front of many witnesses. But, since it was a supporter of colorless who died, no one cared enough. Or rather, no one was allowed to care enough.

The Blank Slate was never shut down even though it had been revealed. I guess it was because if they would have decided to shut it down, they would also have admitted that something happened there, and since there seemed to be no plans of solving the crime, they couldn’t close the pub either.

So, things kept going on as they had been, only that the difference was that Affair had been killed because of his political opinions. And even though Mayor Bloom tried to keep the whole event a secret, words started to spread.

The number of new members to Flax’s party shot through the roof as a consequence and the general public started to question Mayor Bloom and his restrictions against colorless. Despite the sad event it was, it became a much-needed fuel in the fight.

Generation 1 finale: The Blank Slate

By the time the twins were about to celebrate their birthday we were ready to open The Blank Slate. With Thunderbird and Quince in the lead, we had worked with the opening of the pub parallel with the uprising.

It was nothing special, really. But it was situated outside the district and it was a place were we could welcome colorless and supporters to actually have a relaxed and fun evening. It was located in the town’s outskirts, which was a quite deserted area that felt safe enough. It had to be a secret, of course, and only the most consecrated could be invited.

It was the first of my kids birthday’s that could be properly celebrated and we were all excited beyond words.

Mithos and Quince had worked the entire morning with decorating the pub and the stone walls were covered with streamers and behind the bar hung a big banner with the twins’ names on it. It looked amazing and I was so proud. They were only teenagers and they had already managed to do this.

The hours before the party and the grand opening Quince was nervously checking that everything was in order. He ordered the staff to clean the glasses one additional time and had them practice to mix White Feeling one last time. White Feeling was a juice drink that he and Thunderbird had come up with all be themselves. It would be The Blank Slate’s special drink.

The place was soon filled with our closest friends and their families. Pretty much every member of Whites made their way there, as well as the majority of the inhabitants of District 0.

The mood in the room was uplifting and happy. Everyone had a smile on their face.

It was the perfect birthday celebration and premiere one could ever have hoped for. Berries of all colors danced together and laughed together. This what exactly what the world could be like. I just knew that this place would become one of the greatest sanctuaries ever. It would be a place that looked beyond skin color and ruling politics. It would be a place were every color deserved happiness.

My daughter enjoyed the evening to the fullest, she made sure to constantly be the centre of attention as she swung her hips at the dance floor. “Mom, look at me now! Quincie, come dance with me!”

I looked around and all I could see was happy faces (well, apart from the grumpy lady who insisted on just standing by the edge of the dance floor, not daring to dance because it was childish – but that was her loss really). It was hard to imagine that outside these walls were different rules. It was hard to even think about the fact that this place would be shut down immediately if the government found out about its whereabouts.

It didn’t make any sense.

“What are you thinking of over there?” the bartender raised his voice and shouted to Mithos on the far side of the bar.

Mithos had a drink in his hand and he was looking both proud and a bit nervous at the same time. I knew he was thinking about the same things as I was, that The Blank Slate was already a lovely place. But it was also dangerous for everyone involved.

“Nothing special. Just what a great night this is” Mithos replied and shot off a bright smile. “Why don’t you serve the lady there a drink instead” he added after a while and nodded towards Bluebell who sat between them.

The bartender chuckled and turned towards Bluebell, “And what can I get you?”

“A white feeling, of course” she giggled and her eyes sparkled. She was one of the most precious young girls I knew. I was indescribable happy that she and Quince were still so good friends.

As the bartender got started on Bluebell’s drink, Quince joined her at the bar and smiled widely towards her. “Having a good time?” he wondered.

“This is amazing!” Bluebell exclaimed with enthusiasm. “I can’t believe you have done all this! My best friend Quincie, owning a bar. Can you believe it yourself?!”

“Dunno. It’s quite cool, I suppose. You have to promise to come here regularly. I count on you, you know?”

“I couldn’t keep away even if I tried” Bluebell replied and went over to wrap her arms around my son. “I’m so proud of you” she whispered and gave him a quick peck on the cheek which made him blush.

Bluebell then went back to her seat at the bar to wait for her drink. Quince kept staring after her, smiling widely.

“Cheers!” he shouted once Bluebell had gotten her drink and they slammed their glasses together and took a sip each.

“Come, let’s dance!” Quince pulled Bluebell with him to the dance floor and started swinging his hips back and forth to a fault. Bluebell laughed loudly and started dancing with him.

They were sweet together and the memory of me and Pixie joking about the two of them falling in love many years ago, suddenly came back to me. I couldn’t help but giggle, it seemed like it wasn’t that far away. It was certainly a possibility.

Eventually, Sweet Corn demanded to get to blow her candles and as she and Sundance did everyone cheered and sang for them.

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Twist twins
Happy Birthday to you

Sweet Corn enjoyed the attention and did a dramatic pirouette in front of everyone and ended by bowing low before her audience.

“Now I want to dance!” she shouted out after rapidly finishing a slice of the birthday cake. “Come on Sunny, it’s your day too!”

Sundance complained at first but eventually he let himself get dragged to the dance floor. It turned out that he was quite the dancer, even though he had never really tried before. At least not that we knew of. He kept true to himself by moving to a corner of the dance floor, trying to keep to himself even though he was one of the main attractions of the evening.

As the night went on Sundance seemed to gain more and more confidence and moved further and further out on the dance floor. About an hour after his first step on the black -painted floor he was standing in the centre of it with a content and thrilled smile on his lips.

“That’s right Sunny. Swing those hips!” Quince laughed and took Sundance’s hands to turn him around in a pirouette. The two of them broke out in laughter shortly after and it was contagious. The mood in the room lifted at the sight of the two boys joy.

Affair gathered enough courage to dance up towards Sweet Corn and take her hands as well. She happily agreed and just as she did Affair imitated Quince’s move with Sundance and turned her around in a pirouette. An even wider smile broke loose in her face and as she watched the young purple guy in front of her, I couldn’t help but think that there was some extra spark in her eyes.

After the jokingly pirouette, the two of them were practically glued together for the rest of the night.

It was way past midnight when the guests started to drop off and Quince, Mithos and Thunderbird could start cleaning things up behind the bar. We stuck around for support and Bluebell made sure Sundance never got to sit down. After Sweet Corn gave in for aching feet, Sundance and Bluebell were the last couple on the dance floor. They danced and laughed for another hour until it was time to go home.

All in all, the birthday party and the premiere had been everything we had hoped for. In fact, it had been more than we hoped for. The Blank Slate was exactly the new page our life story needed.

Chapter 1.12: New friends

“Who’s that?” Drover whispered and pointed towards three colorful figures further away. It rarely happened that colorful ‘bows visited District 0 and when they did, whispers like Drover’s were common among us colorless. I had never seen them before, and judging by their clean looks they were new to the district.

They seemed to be about fourteen years old, give or take a few years. Probably just a bit older than Quince, actually. But the way they moved made them seem older. They were confident, upright and curious. Their eyes was greedily scanning off the grey surroundings.

“Hey there!” I shouted after them and the few colorless that had been out hurried in to their homes in fear.

“Hey yourself!” One of them shouted back and they started walking towards us.

“It’s you!” They stopped dead and stared at me.

“Uhm, hi?” I said fumbling.

“Oh Berry! I can’t believe it’s you!”

I looked confused at the young guy in front of me and Drover slipped his hand in to mine.

“You’re Marshmallow Puff, ye?” The yellow guy asked, as if it was a way of explaining himself. Silly, I obviously knew who I was, I just didn’t know who they were, or why they knew me.

“I’m Mithos” he said and stretched his hand out in a friendly gesture. As I took it to formally introduce myself he pulled me closer and whispered in my ear: “It’s starting again, it’s happening.” He then let go off my hand and looked around. “Some hot chocolate would be great, thanks for the offer.”

“What?” I felt really, really confused.

“After you” he continued and motioned for me to start moving.

I don’t know exactly how it happened, but somehow we did end up in our home with a cup of chocolate in front of us. The three young guys looked curious and mysterious.

“What’s happening?” Drover demanded to know once we were settled and felt safe.

Before they had time to answer our kids came bursting through the front door, laughing and joking with each other. By the sight of the three unknown boys in our kitchen they stopped dead. They knew that unknown colorful people in District 0 usually meant trouble and their faces went from happy to worried in an instant. Quince took a step forward so that he was standing between the three boys and the twins. “Who are they?” he wondered.

“They’re from the outside” I explained. “They were just about to tell us something.” My kids all stayed to listen, still in a safe distance from our guests.

“The uprising! There’s a buzz all around Fondant Fields, people are starting to question District 0!” One of the guys, who we still didn’t have a name on, suddenly said and smiled widely.

“Uprising?” Quince’s face lit up in a big smile.

“Ya, we just need help from the inside and we wanted to find Flax and you” Mithos said and looked at me.

“I’m in!” Quince said eagerly and almost jumped at the spot in excitement. Neither me or Drover knew how to (or even if) we should correct him and talk him out of it. Uprisings? It sounded dangerous, but it was also what we had taught our kids through their childhood that they should fight for.

Drover squeazed my hand and smiled, “So are we. And Flax will be too.”

The three guys all smiled and thanked us a hundred times before they left that day. Our task was fairly simple, all we had to do was to convince our neighbours in the district to get on the train. It would be simple enough, wouldn’t it?

“NO! You are not taking part in this!” I said for the millionth time that same night. Sundance and Sweet Corn thought it was the most unfair thing ever that they weren’t allowed to help in the uprisings. In mine and Drover’s opinion they were too young with their 9 years. Fact was, Quince was probably too young as well and he was four years older. It was impossible to talk him out of it, though.

“But why can Quince do it?” Sweet Corn wondered and flapped her eyelashes.

“Because he is older than you! End of discussion!” It was uncommon for me to need to raise my voice against any of the twins and I had a slight feeling of guilt when I saw their sad faces. That didn’t mean that I would change my mind in the matter, though.

“That’s so unfair” Sweet Corn muttered and tugged at Sundance’s arm to make him move with her. He hesitated for a moment before he decided to follow her. Sweet Corn stomped extra hard at every step, to really manifest how irritated she was with my desicion. Sundance followe with light steps, not looking too bothered at all.

Drover took my hands, he must have seen how hard it was on me to upset my kids. “We did the right thing” he said. “Remember what happened the last time we let Sundance join the campaign.”

The memory pierced my heart like a knife. My poor baby boy. I couldn’t help to wonder if his silent, fragile character had anything to do with our desicion to use him as a statue for the rebellion.

“This is Sundance” Flax said and helped my son to wave towards the TV cameras and right through our screens. Murmur broke loose in the studio and the host asked a few questions about where my son was from and why Flax had decided to bring him. The debate was not much about politics, but rather about my son’s appearance and whether the fact that white transferred along with yellow was positive or negative.

After the show a whole group of antagonists had gathered outside the studio and as Flax came out through the doors they spat Sundance right in the face. “FREAK!” they called after the two of them as Flax tried his best to protect Sundance while he hurried off.

“The boy we saw on TV last night is a true shame for our kind” Mayor Bloom said in a speech the next day. “I promise to do my best to keep you pure ‘bows safe from this plague. No one should have to endour the look of that colorless skin. It’s a shame that they have been allowed to breed and I will work towards purifying our kind. I promise to cure us!”

The speech was already a classic, well-known speech and had been broadcasted several times after that first time. We had managed to keep our kids from seeing it for a long, long time but we couldn’t keep it from them forever.

“Is it my fault, mom?” Sundance asked after he had seen it. “District 0, is it my fault? Are we here because of me?”

I remembered the question very well, a bit too well. He had never really gone back to his old self after that and I knew he had a great guilt on his shoulders. It didn’t matter that we told him time after time that he had nothing to do with it. He seemed so sure that he was the ultimate pest.

There was no way we could risk such a thing again. No way.

Chapter 1.11: District 0

I looked out through my window and saw the grey concrete world I had come to be used to. Not happy or comfortable with, just used to. There wasn’t a single feeling of positive vibes of it. It was where we lived, but it didn’t feel like home. In truth, it felt more like the prison it was.

It was exactly five years since the day they brought us here. My kids had spent their entire childhood surrounded by high concrete walls that secluded us from the rest of Fondant Fields. Within District 0 everything was colorless, even the berries. I knew it was colorful on the outside and I would never forget about the town that was real home, even though it had kicked me out its door.

The anniversaries was always the hardest days. I missed Fondant Fields. I missed my colorful friends. I missed my job.

I woke up several times during the anniversary nights, always drenched in sweat and tears. Always the same dream:

I’m sleeping peacefully in my own bedroom, next to my big love Drover.

My children are laying in their cribs in the adjacent rooms, having fallen asleep many hours ago.

The sound of wood breaking as my front door gets kicked in suddenly wakes me up. A deep, angry voice, “We’re here to get you, vanilla freaks” sends shivers through my body.

Both me and Drover hurries out of bed to find our children in the arm’s of strangers in uniforms. Them. The antagonists.

They beat us up and tie our hands behind our backs and pushes us out of our home, in to a car and drives off.

I open my eyes and see the high concrete walls, realizing there is no way to get out of here since the gates are locked with sturdy locks.

This is were I wake up. The dream is an exact projection of the last minutes of our old life. And the place I was taken to, is where I now live and have lived for the past five years. It’s a prison, a ghetto. It’s their way of getting rid of us and making sure we won’t mix our colorless genes with the “real berries”. District 0.

Maybe we should have seen it coming. Mayor Bloom openly and officially built the ghetto to house berries ill in epidemics during his first election period (as far as I know, there was never any epidemic). He also fueled the grudge against colorless in all ways he could think of. And he was mighty successful.

I didn’t see it back then because I was too busy worrying about the colorless children I had given birth to. And Flax did what he could, but bringing Sundance to the live broadcasted TV show backfired. When our neighbours found out that Sundance was white because his genes had been passed on he was immediately classified as a freak, along with his mother – me.

After that, all we could do was to fight as best as we could, even though it felt like we had our hands tied to our backs.

When Mayor Bloom was re-elected the real terror begun. First, I lost my job. Then Drover lost his because he sympathized with me. I suppose several minor steps was taken to finally come to the point where we were waken up in the middle of the night and forced to move inside the concrete walls.

I can’t believe it’s been five years already. The kids go to school during the days and even though their education is beneath contempt, I’m glad they get to leave the house and just be with people of their own age. Drover works within the district, his nursing skills is high in demand and he trades his services for food and books. I have not much use of my work experiences but I help where I can.

We are allowed to go freely outside the walls, as long as we are back before they lock the gates at 9pm. Curfew, can you believe it? The worst part is that Fondant Fields seems happy with this solution. They are finally free of the colorless plague.

“Mooom, we are home!” Quince opens our front door and rushes in to tackle me with a hug. I suppose the love and bonds within our family are one of the few positive things about this whole, stupid situation. We wouldn’t survive this if we didn’t stand up for each other, so we did.

“How was school?” I asked, trying to sound happy and interested. I wanted them to think they had a decent childhood, even if I also made sure to let them know they deserved better than this.

“Same as always” they all replied in unison.

“Can we go outside the district today?” Quince asked. I often wondered if he remembered anything from before we moved here or if it was just a matter of jealousy for the life Bluebell could live. Pixie and Bluebell still lived on the outside and that little girl had a much better life than my kids. No wonder my son was jealous, really.

We went to the park, where we met up with Pixie and Bluebell. While it was lovely to come outside, it also hurt to think of all the things we missed. Pixie had the same troublesome, sad look in her eyes that she had sported ever since my family were transferred to District 0. “How are you?” she wondered and hugged me tight. I shrugged, it was as it was.

The kids ran off to play and me and Pixie sat down on a bench in the park. Some people took detours around me and the kids in fear of being polluted with some strange diseases they imagined lived within our bodies. It all hurt so much.

“I walked by your house yesterday” Pixie said and I could see tears forming in her eyes. “It’s still empty and dusty and no one has even bothered putting the furniture back in place. It’s a mess!”

I teared up by the thought of my lovely little home left as it was when we were forced away from it. We still had clothes in the wardrobes and there was probably still food rotting in the fridge. It was surrealistic in a way.

“Oh sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned it. I just… I don’t know. This is so stupid!”

“It’ll change eventually. It won’t be forever.” I said it more to comfort myself than Pixie. I had to believe it would change or there was no way I would be able to keep fighting.

“Mom, look at me!” Sweet Corn yelled and swung higher and higher on the colorful swing. She was dressed in yellow. We did what colorless berries had done in all time, we dressed her up in color to try and hide the truth. Didn’t matter much where we lived, but it still felt a bit better. She was still happy, always so satisfied with life and everything. She seemed so fragile and I dreaded the day she would break.

“Be careful Sweets!” Quince called out after her before I had time to say anything. He was such a good big brother, always looking after his siblings and making sure they were alright. I think it was because he was colorful and they were not. He had proudly stated three years ago that no one was ever going to harm them if he was around. Until this day, he had lived by that word.

Sundance was watching the others play from a distance. I knew he looked up to his elder brother and he was never as happy as when they allowed him to join their games. Just watching kept him happy, though. He was more the quiet kind. Probably the one of my kids I should really be worrying about because he didn’t seem to have the confidence that Quince and Sweet Corn had. At least he had that yellow hair to keep him somewhat safe, though.

“Look, this is what it could be” Pixie complained and threw her hands out in front of her. I nodded silently.

“Mom?” Sundance was suddenly standing right in front of me.

“Mhm?”

“What time is it. It’s getting dark…” He pointed towards the sky and I looked at my watch only to see that we had about fifteen minutes to get back home. I didn’t even dare to think about what would happen if we missed it. My father didn’t need any new neighbours anytime soon.

“Kids, we better run!” I shouted and they all understood at once and started running with me. We had to get back home in time.

“I was starting to worry for you” Drover said as we reached our barrack. He kissed me and gave each of the kids a hug each. It was very, very important for us to stick together as a real family in these times.

Chapter 1.10: Thoughtless

I was pretty much a lifeless, depressed bundle of misery. I laid curled up on the bed and cried. All the happiness we had felt over the twins arrival was gone. POOF! It had vanished as soon as I laid my eyes on them for the first time.

Sweet Corn Twist and Sundance Twist.

They where white. As white as they could be, actually. Drover hugged me tight before they were shown to me, and said: “They are perfect!”

As soon as I saw them in their cribs I started crying. I literally collapsed in a heap on the floor and cried. It was the worst thing that could have happened. Colorless babies. Failures. Freaks.

When Quince was born, I was so sure that all my worries had been in vain. That it was actually impossible for white genes to pass on unless a rare mutation took place. I hadn’t even worried about it during this pregnancy. I had been completely unprepared.

“It’s gonna be alright” Drover promised.

“They are perfect just the way they are” Pixie tried.

“I’ll win this time, they will have a good life” Flax said.

It didn’t matter. I couldn’t listen to them. I hated myself too much. It had been selfish and thoughtless to even consider kids. Breeding on my white genes, it was plain stupid and I cried and cried and cried for all the hurt I would cause my children. It was all my fault.

“You have to start going up” Drover complained and sat on the edge of the bed. “I can’t do this alone, Mallow. I need you. Please, please, please. I need you!”

“It’s my fault” I answered sullenly. “You shouldn’t need to have colorless kids.”

“The kids are fine!” Drover suddenly yelled and stood up. “I don’t mind having white kids, they are lovely. But you. THIS! I shouldn’t need this, Mallow! You have to get up. You have to fight. That’s who you are. How can you have forgot? Where is the strong, confident and forceful girl I fell in love with? Because this isn’t her!” He slammed the door when he went out, and the walls shook. My fireman’s coat hanging on a hook by the door fell down and I cried some more.

It was what I needed, though. Within a few hours I had managed to get up from the bed and take a shower. I still felt a bit guilty but there was also another feeling rising within me. Something that would probably be described just the way Drover described me. It was strength, confidence and force. If anyone should stand up for those two colorless babies, it had to be me. I had to fight for them.

It wasn’t exactly turning the world upside-down, but we took small steps. I did what my parents had done with me: I took my children with me around the town, like any normal family and ignored the hateful, disgusted looks we got. I refused to let anyone look down on my children. They were fine, just the way they were!

Flax loved the twins with all his heart. He was spending so much time with them, it almost felt as though he was the father. Drover was constantly working so Flax came over every day to give me an extra hand with the two. It was probably their whiteness that made him feel so attached to them. In his mind, they were the best thing that could have happened because we need more colorless sims to prove our statements.

I liked having him around because he was so positive and so certain that we were moving forward. His faith and hope had a way of rubbing off and I always felt better at heart after spending time with him.

When the kids slept we would talk about the future of Whites or the future of my children and he would assure me that things were starting to look better. He had a way of calming me down, even when I had strikes of sadness or despair.

Except for Pixie, he was my best friend.

Whites had lost some members after the previous election and we pretty much had to start over. Only that this time, we knew a lot more about the actual process. Failure is, even though it’s a cliche, the best way to success. “I think we shall play it more strategic this time” Flax said and explained that our former protests probably had done more harm than good because they made us seem violent. Not that we had been, but since colorless scared the regular ‘bow, so did our protests.

“So what shall we do then?” I asked, knowing that I couldn’t provide with a lot of time, since I had my family to care for.

“I think what you and Drover are currently doing are the best thing” he replied and smiled. “We have to provide facts to that colorless are just as real as any other berry. And I think Sundance and Sweet Corn are the perfect proof. I think they are a true blessing.”

A blessing. It had never considered their whiteness that way before. But maybe Flax was right, maybe they were a blessing. If only we could make the town see that my twins were perfect and adorable and certainly not a failure. If only!

“Who’s the best colorless baby ever? Who is it, who is it?” Flax rubbed his nose against Sundance’s. It was nice to watch them. Flax was a natural with kids and Sundance was Flax’s favourite, don’t ask me why. For some reason, Flax was certain that Sundance would be the one to mend Fondant Fields. To Flax, Sundance was the savior.

To me, Flax was the final thing to get me back to my old true self. The one who believed the world could change. The one who wouldn’t stop fighting for what she knew was right. And for that, I was him forever grateful.

“I was invited to a debate that will be broadcasted on national TV tomorrow” Flax told me the day of the twins birthday. It was closing in towards the next election and Flax was pretty much seen all around town, thanks to Whites campaign. Usually, we would just be left out in all the debates about the election, so him being invited was a huge thing and he was pretty much shining with joy and pride.

“That’s great” I said and pulled him in for a hug.

Flax responded to the hug halfheartedly before he released me. He took a firm grip of my shoulders and looked deep in to my eyes. I almost blushed by the pure act. “I want to bring Sundance” he said slow and clear.

“Bring Sundance?!”

“Just look at him! He is white and yellow. He’s the perfect mix of colorless and color. And he is the cutest thing! No one can ignore his charm, I promise!”

“… I don’t know” I responded and a hundred thoughts of what could happen to my baby rushed through my head. There was no way I was going to let him and I felt irritated about the fact that he even dared to think I would risk my kid’s safety like that.

Obviously, there was a point in Flax’s argument. Sundance was white and yellow. He was a mix, a boy with genes passed on.

Somehow, it hurt less with Sundance because he had that yellow hair. There was color in him. Sweet Corn, on the other side, was just like me. Plain, blank, colorless and white. And that scared me more than anything. Her whole life she would have to go through what I went through, but even worse. My poor little baby girl.

She was a happy child. She had the most amazing laughter you can imagine. If champagne bubbles would laugh, that’s how it would sound. I knew that would most certainly change, she wouldn’t have much reasons to laugh when society locks her up in some special school and prevents her from seeing others her own age. I wondered what that would do to her?

When our guests had left the house later that evening I was cleaning the house like a maniac. I needed dull work to keep my head off the troubling thoughts that had started with Flax’s suggestion. It was a lot easier to wipe imaginary spots off the kitchen counters than to come up with an answer for Flax.

“What’s the matter baby?” Drover asked, knowing me well enough to tell I was upset about something. I sighed deep and told him about Flax’s suggestion.

“I know what you mean” Drover said once I was done complaining about the fact that one of my best friends thought risking my babies well-being was worth it. “But I also think it’s worth it. I mean, look at him. He’ll make a great statue!”

And that was that. Sundance would be going to the TV-studio with Flax the very next day.

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