Chapter 3.3: A lie

Screenshot-1098Almost a week had passed since dad had been in the fight with Tiber. My uncle.

I had been thinking a lot this week. Probably hadn’t been much like my regular me. I had been the only one to witness the scene and so far I hadn’t manage to decide if I should tell anyone about it or not. Dad hadn’t said much about it. Most likely because I didn’t ask. He had never been much of a talker.

It felt strange thinking it had been a whole week since it happened, and yet it felt like it had been a lifetime. All the questions was gnawing on me from within. In the end, I did what the regular Soda Pop would have done right away: I confronted the problem.

Screenshot-1193“It didn’t work” I said and dad looked like a question mark. “You said mom left to keep us all safe but it didn’t work.”

“You guys have been safe” dad said and twisted his body, trying to avoid the brewing conflict. Unfortunately for him, there was nothing stopping me now that I had started. I had been raised with a lie. A fake promise of safety. I had accepted the fact that my mother had left to keep me safe, accepted a childhood without a mother, only to realize it had all been in vain. I wasn’t safe. My brothers weren’t safe. Dad wasn’t safe. We could get attacked anytime.

Screenshot-1194“That could have been us. We were there. I was right next to you!” I know I wasn’t being fair, but it wasn’t my intention either. I was disappointed and I wanted him to know. Besides, I felt sorry for him. Even though he never talked much about it, I knew it had been hard on him when mom left. Now that I had realized she did it for nothing, I felt both disappointed and sorry. “I’m telling you, it didn’t work!”

Screenshot-1192When dad didn’t say anything else, I locked myself up in my room and called Plum. She would know what to do. She had to know.

“I’m at work” Plum said as she answered my call in a whispering voice. I could picture her in front of me, trying to hide behind the counter at the spa as she whispered in to the phone she tried to hide.

“Mom’s brother beat dad up in the park. We’re not that safe” I said, not bothering with any rewrites.

“Does your dad still miss her, love her?”

“He’s never even looked at another girl.” I hadn’t realized such was the case before, but as I said the words it all hit me. Dad had never cared for girls and I had always thought it was because he had his hands full with me and my brothers. But of course, it was because he missed my mother and knew that no one could ever match her.

“I can’t go with you, but you should tell your mother. Maybe she’ll come back if she knows her absence doesn’t keep you safe? I mean, if she feels the same way about Sunny.”

“Thanks Plum. I love you.”

“Love you too. Mwaaah!”

Screenshot-1186If Plum couldn’t go with me, there was really only one other option. Luckily, Canary agreed to come with me and met me with a huge smile on her face. Truth be told, she was probably happy to get out of the house since she always complaining about her younger siblings being real pains in the B. I thought both Barley and Buttercup were adorable, though.

“Are you ready?” Canary asked once we had made it to the Sourz residence.

Screenshot-1185I swallowed a lump in the throat. It was weird thinking my mother had been here all this time. It wasn’t even that far from our house, and yet I had never met her. There was even the chance that I had bumped in to her somewhere in town without knowing. My own mother?!

I stood there, thinking about the ridiculous fact that I had no idea who my mother was, except for what dad had told us, while she had been living in the very same town as me all this time. It gave me second thoughts. What good would it do to look her up now, after all these years? I turned around and looked at Canary, my face probably letting on just how worried I was.

“I don’t know if I can do this” I admitted.

Screenshot-1187“Of course you can!” Canary smiled. “If anyone could do such a thing, it’s you!”

I breathed heavily and braced myself. Canary was right. I would regret it if I turned around now. “I want to do it on my own, I think.”

“Okay. I’ll be waiting at the stadium. Just call me if you need me” she hugged me lightly before leaving me on my own. She was always happy, always comforting. A good friend, that’s what she was. A real good friend. I was happy to be blessed with two of that kind.

Screenshot-1188The sound of the doorbell was fierce and surprisingly bright. I looked around, certian that some of the neighbors would be on their doorsteps, wondering who dared pressing that doorbell. Naturally, there was no one to be seen.

I waited several seconds before the door was opened and when it finally was my eyes shot wide.

Screenshot-1189The woman who had opened the door hurried outside and closed the door behind her. “You” she said. I didn’t know if it was a statement or a question and I didn’t know if it was sad with a happy or disappointing undertone. But I do know that she understood exactly who I was.

“Mom?”

Oceana backed away slightly by the sound of the short word. No wonder, she hadn’t even been a mom for the past 14 years. “What are you doing here?” she whispered once she had regained her senses. She looked sad and I thought to myself that it had been a mistake coming here. She didn’t care about us anymore. The possibility was that she never had cared about us and simply used our safety as a reason to get out of the house and back to the luxury environment in the Sourz family. Why would she leave that because of me or my brothers? What had dad been thinking? Suddenly, I felt angry and disappointed. She was no mother!

“You lied” I snarled and summoned my most angry face. “You just wanted an easy way out. You never cared about our safety. You lied!”

Screenshot-1190Her previously surprised look changed in to a sad one. The corners of her eyes slumped downwards, as did the corners of her mouth. It almost looked as if she would start to cry.

“It’s not safe for you here” she said and looked over her shoulder and through the window to her home. “If they see you they will…” she never finished the sentence. I never gave her the chance.

“They will what? Hurt me? Attack me?” I was more angry than I had intended to but the realization about her bailing on us actually hurt. “Well, they already have! Your fudging brother attacked my dad in the park. I saw it with my own eyes. We are not safe! YOU LIED!”

Oceana took one small step towards me but stopped herself in the middle of a movement. “Don’t cry” she said. I hadn’t even realized that I was indeed crying. Not because I was sad but because I was so angry. I had lived my life without a mother for no good! I turned my back towards her to wipe the tears of my eyes. She whispered another time, “It’s not safe her. Soda Pop, you have to leave.”

Screenshot-1196And I did. I didn’t even look back. I simply ran and didn’t stop until I was at the stadium, in Canary’s comforting arms. It had been stupid to think mom would come back. Or to think I needed her in my life. I had managed just fine with the family and friends I had. Yet, it hurt.

My mother had been no hero. She had been a coward and a liar.

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6 Comments

  1. Aww that was kind of sad 😦

    Reply
  2. heaven

     /  February 18, 2013

    What a horribly sad chapter. To feel betrayed and abandoned and that everything you had grown up knowing was a lie. Even if it’s not, perception is reality and, right now, Soda Pop’s reality sure does suck.

    PS. Finally caught up with your blog!

    Reply
  3. ;_; Poor Soda. I feel so bad for her. I hope what she thinks isn’t true even if I can understand why she feels that way. Oceana seemed worried and upset, so I sort of do believe that she thinks she is doing the best thing for Sunny and her children.

    Canary is so pretty :O

    Reply
  4. Great chapter as always. Soda’s got some punch, good on her for confronting Oceana.

    Reply
  5. Good on you, Soda. I understand Oceana’s concerns…but it’s never helpful to live in fear. It just makes things worse.

    Reply
  6. Awww so sad. 😦

    Reply

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